Have had an enlarged node on side of neck since 2018. soft, movable, almond size. had ultrasound in 2019 and showed normal node. its now 4 years later and i still have the node. has not grown at all, no symptoms. could this be cancer?

Lymphs nodes may not shrink once enlarged. But is you keep poking it might be more likely to do that. I would show to the Dr who felt it (and hopefully measured it) and see what they think.

I recommend consulting a general surgeon or ENT specialist to get advice about whether an excisional biopsy is worthwhile rather than having to keep checking on this sizeable mass. Occasionally benign entities morph into malignancy. Removing this should give you peace of mind. On the other hand the specialist may reassure you & leave it alone.