Melatonin causes too much of a "hangover" affect on me, im already taking valerian, so what else can i take that wont cause the hangover feeling?

Unusual: With melatonin, and i would consider dropping the dose. In germany, where herbal meds are fully regulated and tested, the usual dose to start with melatonin is 0.6 mg (5 times less than you take), so i would get a lower dose preparation - comes in liquid form which is easier to adjust as well. If you want to try something different, chamomille tea would be a start, or consider cbt treatment.