Is a tongue thrust appliance really necessary? the ones with little things hanging down can be seen by people. this would really embarrass my 9yrold.

Yes: It depends on whether or not you want your 9 year old to have straight teeth with no anterior open bite. You need to explain to your child the benefit of wearing the appliance and encourage them along the way.

Yes: A little sacrifice now will go a long way toward preventing malformations of the bones resulting in an unsightly open bite later. Long term orthodontics is necessary to treat anterior open bites, so be patient , your dentist is doing the correct thing.