I have been hurting myself and i often think up new ways to die. how can i find help without my family or friends finding out i have been suicidal?

Glad you want help: I hope you can find it confidentially, but since you are underage it might be hard to prevent parent(s) knowing a bit. Don't let that stop you though. Tell people up front how important it is to you. Perhaps you can offer your promise to not self-harm for their agreement to not reveal things you want private. Permission from a parent to treat does not = a right to know content. I'm hoping you win.

You need help NOW!: Please call 1-800-273-8255 in US national Suicide prevention hotline and talk to a Crisis counselor now, Its open 24 hours . make sure you stay in touch. You can call without your family being aware I suggest you do this right now