I've been experiencing memory loss from the past few years that i think is due to rape as well as sexual abuse. i just can't remember things. ptsd?

Possibly: In ptsd, it's possible to focus so much on potential danger that you don't register other information -- & then can't recall it later. I'm sorry you've had these traumatic experiences, yet recovery is also possible. Please get an evaluation from a skilled psychiatrist first. S/he will review all your symptoms with you, check for other causes of memory disturbance, & recommend next steps.

PTSD: So very sorry to hear that you had to endure such abuse, and yes it does sound like ptsd. Please consult a clinical psychologist who can help you overcome your fears and help you move past the tragedies you experienced. You can likely be helped and it is too much to cope with alone. I wish you the best.

Big picture first: There is a "pop" school of non-evidence-based therapy that teaches that people with emotional difficulties have been subjected to terrible and often bizarre abuse that they have subsequently forgotten. The truth is that when there is corroborating evidence (for example, dad kills mom in view of the kids), the kids remember. Impaired memory needs a neurologist's evaluation first.