Had an extraction 4 days ago..still have a little pain and ear pain..site is a yellowish gray color..is this normal?

Infection?: Pain is usually a typical sequela that follows a tooth extraction, and it should slowly decrease as days pass. If pain meds are needed, the dentist or your primary care physician should provide these. If pain increases along with gum swelling and possible fevers/chills, you may have an infection and should consult your dentist or primary care physician.

You had surgery. It takes time to heal. A little soreness, less every day, is normal. If pain intensifies, or an odor arrises, or you have swelling, or stiffness, call your treating Dentist or specialist Oral Surgeon. That is the practitioner responsible for your post-surgical care.