Was on mirtazapine for 1 1/2 years, switched to effexor (venlafaxine) 4 days ago and it makes me sick/spacey. what would be a good antidepressant thats not an ssri?

There are plenty: You might be between a rock and a hard place, pharmacologically speaking. You are in Mirtazepine withdrawal, and experiencing initial serotonergic side effects from the effexor (venlafaxine). There are other options, but if your doctor preferred effexor (venlafaxine), I advise to taper off the Mirtazepine for a few more days and obtain regular, non XR effexor (venlafaxine) a titrate after mirtazepine taper from 1/2 37.5 mg.