Is it ok to be paid to take care of a parent? i been caring for my mom who has dementia for 5 years. i couldn't really gone out to work because i had to stay home and take of her. i cook, clean, did her wash, take care of her cat, take her out and for awh

Yes, : Yes, you can get paid for what you do. Ask around where you live for the going rate. You might compare to cost of assisted living and/or memory care facilities in your area. In other words, don't forget room & board since she lives w/you. But here's the bigger problem. Who has power of attorney? Durable health care power of attorney, living will, and all those other issues are important, too, but you need to determine who's the power of attorney and/or her guardian. Because she's demented, she may not be allowed to enter into a legally binding contract (that's where you both need an attorney) to pay you (or anyone else) for her care. Only the power of attorney or guardian can sign on her behalf. You didn't mention it (or i can't read) but i assume your father has passed away or isn't legally involved anymore. What about siblings? While your generous uncompensated care helps them, they may not feel like sharing your mom's pension which potentially affects their inheritance. So make sure everyone is in agreement with any potential contracts. Which is why you want to comparison shop as noted above - explain how much it would take out of her pension/estate if you didn't "volunteer". Finally, because your mom is having fits and acting violent towards you, make sure she's seen regularly by her family physician or geriatrician. There may be some underlying medical reasons to explain her behavior. At the least, they can offer some medication options (not w/o potential side effects) that may be worth considering. You're an angel to care for your mom, just like she cared for you when you were born. Too bad most of our population doesn't feel the same way as you do. Good luck! ps one other thought - perhaps, assuming you can afford it now, you could receive a proportionately larger percentage of your mom's estate compared to your siblings (rather than get paid now) to account for your services. This would still require a contract btwn you & your sibs which should still be written by an attorney (assuming she doesn't have a will).