Genital herpes i contracted genital herpes from an ex fiance years ago. it was a going away present to him from his ex girlfriend. he didn't know he had it and now i'm paying for it. we both found out after the fact. i am no longer with that ex fiance

This : This is a very delicate subject. First of all you have to forgive yourself and move on. If you were unaware that your ex-fiance had genital herpes, it is not your fault that you contracted the virus. Your boyfriend obviously loves you and wants to be with you, you should stop feeling "horrible". Many people with hsv seek out partners that also have it so they can engage in a normal sexual relationship without fear of spreading the virus. The odds of you or your boyfriend developing oral lesions from oral sex is fairly low if you do not engage in oral sex while either one of you have an active lesion; also you should wait a week or two after a lesion has resolved before resuming oral sex, lastly if you are both on suppresion therapy (taking medication daily) this can reduce the transmission rate. Do not let this ruin your relationship and your sex life. If you have additonal questions please consult your doctor. Best of luck.

It's a sad story...: ...but not an unusual one, unfortunately. Among the highest risk situations for STDs is when a new relationship starts as an old one is ending, often with other partners as the previous relationship ends. But genital herpes always can be controlled and transmission prevented. Find a doctor who understands herpes well (e.g. an STD specialist or gyn who specializes in infections).