Why won't grief and yearning go away . i now am feeling so alone with the guilt of seeing doctors , i know i don't deserve . ?

Unclear as to the: cause. Are you seeing the right doctors. This may all be related to a loss and that does not go away easily especially if a spouse , lover or parent. It may take time and may take a psychiatrist. Best wishes.

Guilt is a difficult: condition to resolve. Sounds like you might have lost someone/something dear, and are feeling isolated. Are you depressed? Do you feel guilty seeing doc's? Try a psychologist. Here's a reference on guilt: http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com/page20.html Don't have a reference on grief, but it sounds like this might be appropriate.