Got sent for pysch absessment due to sucidie risk and told them i was ok , but i feel worse than ever, and not ok but scared to return to doctor ?

Find courage or else: I hear that you are really scared to seek help, but also that the alternative is even more frightening. Sometimes there is no easy path but by not choosing, you are choosing the more risky. So, get all the courage you can find and just do it. Announce how scared you are - therapists know how common this is and they can help. You can get through this - many do every day and you deserve a chance.