How important is dairy, truly? ive been trying to stick to myplate but fall short w/dairy unless i drink milk. can one still lose fat keep health w/o?

Not necessary: All the nutrients that can be found in dairy can be found elsewhere. There are many who are lactose(one of the sugars in dairy) intolerant and cannot consume dairy(even with Lactaid pills), they can do fine. You just need to be mindful to get sources of calcium, vitamin D, protein. Vegans don't consume diary, and aren't necessarily "fat"; often they are more healthy than others!

Not that important: As long as you get your calcium and vitamin D from another source - supplement or foods, then you can completely eliminate dairy from a healthy diet.

Not essential....: Ok, first dairy includes cheeses, yogurts, etc. so, if you want dairy and eat those, case closed. Second, a significant percent of middle aged people cannot digest the sugar in milk (lactase intolerant) and so, lots of people don't do dairy. Third, there is poor evidence that dairy is even helpful in trying to lose weight. and last, lots of societies don't do dairy and do fine. IN Japan 50%