If i had oral sex with someone who has hpv and warts, do i definitely have the virus and should i get tested? and if i have oral hpv, are family members at risk? can it be transmitted from things like cutlery?

Oral HPV isn't rare, but any single exposure is unlikely to spread it. Assuming you have otherwise been sexually active, undoubtedly you have been exposed before, probably many times, and probably infected; and now carrying HPV. At any time, half of all people your age have it and test positive. And no, HPV is never shared by shared toilets, eating utensils, etc. Get vaccinated!

Dr Kuitems agreed

You are at increased risk to get infected by HPV. Your family is not even if you are infected because transmission of HPV requires skin-to-skin contact.