I gave birth my son 2.5 years ago and it's still painful to have sex and/or have a bowel movement. i had an episiotomy. what do i do to help myself?

Psychic trauma: When the perineum (the tissue bridge between vagina and anus) is injured during childbirth, the resulting scar can cause problems to greater or lesser degree for the remainder of a woman's life. If childbirth was associated with major psychological trauma this can have a significant impact on the perception of the pain from the scar.

Self-help course: I would suggest a website called Vaginismus.com. They have some very good resources for painful intercourse, including a medical-grade vaginal dilators and a self-help course. Seeing your Ob/Gyn is also a good idea. Best wishes!