My husband has red puffy looking sore in his mouth with white in the middle. is this herpes? he also had red spots on penis that don't look like sores

Rash: It could be but. Your description of the penile spots is not classical. Herpes. I would get him checked out by a physician.

Sores and spots: Yes, the oral sore could be herpes, but it could also be several other things. It would be highly unusually to also have herpes on the penis at the same time. I think this deserves a doctor's evaluation in person.