What to do if i hate myself for feeling this way, what can i do?

Be more specific!: It is hard to know what to suggest from the information you have provided. In general, it sounds that you need to speak to a therapist who can have you delve into whatever seems to be bothering you. Serious conditions need to be ruled out or diagnosed and treated; talk therapy focusing on self-image and your distorted way of thinking can help you develop healthier coping strategies.