I don't want the rectal exam, can the dr examine my prostate other way? i have done it in the past twice and had inflamed or enlarged prostate, i think. now i have similar symptoms with slow urine flow and weak?

There are some high resolution MRI studies that may come close to revealing what a prostate exam does. If you have lots of cash and are willing to pay out of pocket for the study you can likely find a facility that will do it. I know of no 3rd party insurer that would pay for the study just because you don't want an exam.

The prostate exam when performed properly by a urologist should be painless with minimal discomfort. Let your Urologist know of your apprehension. Other tests like rectal ultra sound are more uncomfortable. Dont be afraid. Good luck