I have no control over passing wind from my anus which has become very embarrassing - is there any way to fix the muscles? have hemorrhoids as well.

Change diet: Certain foods cause gas in individuals. Examples beans, fiber, milk, dairy products. Simethicone is an over the counter med available in US drug stores to decrease gas. There are other products if you have sensitivity to beans, milk or lactose intolerance can also cause gas and bloating.Watch what you are eating to see if there is a cause and effect Consult a doctor for diagnosis & best treatment

Flatal incontinence: (what a label!!) Unfortunately it is a much more common problem in women due to trauma to the anal sphincter and perineal muscles during childbirth. Aging, menopause and obesity may contribute. Some benefit can be achieved with pelvic floor exercises/Kegel-like exercises; more severe cases may require surgery. Consider a consultation with a Gynecologist specializing in incontinence. Good wishes.