Everytime that sept 4 is near, i get depressed and suicidal thoughts. 7 yrs ago i tried to commit suicide that day. why do i keep feeling like this?

Our minds do this: Anniversaries and commemorations are very human. I can suggest that you honor this important milestone in another way - by feeling appreciation of a 2nd chance and self-esteem in what it's taken to keep going. But I know it would not reach the deep places you need to find without a longer time to explore together so much. I will urge that you find a trustworthy therapist to work through this with.