I've been feeling okay but been depressed so long it feels weird so try and tell myself think suicidal thoughts like i'm not supposed to feel okay?

Need clarification: I would like to help, so please clarify your question with more detail I'm not sure what you are asking.

Improving well being: If I understand, you are so used to depression that feeling non-depressed is unusual? Not uncommon especially if depression started early in life. If a goal is continued well-being now is an opportunity to develop a new perspective and resilience to future depression. Working with a therapist in this capacity may be helpful, as might use of structured healthy activities (yoga, hobbies/clubs, etc).

Major Depression: Your Life is Precious! Believe in Blessings of Breath of Life and Healing power of your Body. Experience Wonders of Sequoia National Park and Gift of Life given to those Trees and You by the Creator! See a Psychiatrist for Medication and Therapy to overcome feelings of hopelessness and despair; for stresses of relationships with unresolved feelings, work and finances Breathing Relaxation, Yoga.

Time for prof help: Your question is not clear. Having long term depression and thinking some kind of suicidal thoughts is a signal to be seeing a psychiatrist . You probably would benefit by medication, therapy or both. You shouldn't delay and if feeling suicidal should tell doctor, family or close friend immediately and see psychiatrist asap. You can also call 911 or suicide hot line get immediate help and support.

Dr Amico Jr agreed