I feel suicidal and not good enough in any way. ive tried multiple times in the past to kill myself. what should i do ?

Call hotline and...: If you're considering acting on this now call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You likely suffer from depression and that can be treated. You may have a physical illness such as hypothyroidism, Lyme disease, celiac disease etc. causing you to feel so bad. See a good doctor for a thorough evaluation, also please see a psychiatrist and seek counseling. You can feel better!