Severe sleep apnea from brain forgetting to send signal to breath and enlarged tonsil and adenoid/over weight/ 1 year old any suggestions or options?

Start with CPAP: In an adult with severe sleep apnea, CPAP or continuous positive airway pressure, is the best option. Once you are able to establish good compliance (goal would be at least 7 hours of sleep with machine every night) you may find it easier to exercise, eat healthy and loose weight. Your surgical risk will also go down when/if you get your tonsils and adenoids removed - if you are using CPAP prior.

ENT: Get a good ENT to look at it tonsils and adenoids removal might be an option and controlled diet what you are describing is central sleep apnea they will be able to guide you better.

Fix what U can: In a 1yo enlarged tonsils & adenoids can produce significant sleep apnea & removal may solve that component of the issue. Respiratory stimulants like caffeine are commonly used in neonatal sleep apnea but may or may not be helpful at one year. Fix what you can & work with your treatment team on alternatives.The people who know the case have a better chance to sort it out.