My three year old is not listening, throwing tantrums, how do i get her to listen. i don't want to spank, i feel bad when i yell or put in corner?

Use time-out: Time-out is a safe, effective way to ignore behaviors, which makes them go away.1-2-3 magic & " little people" teach you how to do "walk, don't talk" time-out effectively. Behaviors get worse before they go away, as a test to see if she can get you to engage. Crying does no psychological harm. Praise her often for behaviors you want. Yelling/spanking both reinforce behaviors & teach aggression.