Is it possible to have bp if not really impulsive, not self-harming, not suicidal, but have other signs? sees others as abusers, fluctuates.

Yes: Bipolar disorder is a spectrum, from people who have very mild cycles of depressed mood and also periods of increased energy, enthusiasm and activity, to much more extreme cycles of mania and severe depression.

Possibly: I have seen some people with borderline Personality disorder who seem to be less emotionally reactive and self-destructive. I find those people much more difficult to diagnose. If you are asking about Bipolar Disorder - there can also be milder cases- which again are often more challenging to diagnose.