My friend's house is a disaster with dirt and stuff everywhere. how do i know if she's a "horder" or just a bad housekeeper? the mess seems to be getting worse by the month and she doesn't seem at all disturbed by it.

One : One cardinal symptom that sets hoarders apart from poor housekeepers is their inability to discard the items they've collected. In many cases, hoarders will move clutter from one place to another -- even when it creates an obstruction to traffic flow or interferes with daily activities -- rather than getting rid of it. Hoarders also tend to get upset when others touch or move the objects they've collected. I've attached a mayo clinic link that discusses the symptoms of hoarding. It may offer some enlightenment. I hope things go well for your friend! http://www.Mayoclinic.Com/health/hoarding/ds00966.

Be a friend: Talk to her about her problem. Don't ignore it. Your friend may need physical and emotional help resolving her problem. Help guide her to people who can help her. all to Social Services.

Diogenes syndrome: This may be the first sign of mental illness. If you're a real friend, talk to her. I know a physician who started doing this and disappeared -- he had a brain tumor that could have been operated.

Semantics: Whatever you call your friend's situation, she needs help and support to overcome it. I know it is difficult but encourage you to talk w/her. If you feel uncomfortable w/the dirt do not go there. She needs to face the consequences. She can visit you. Peace and good health.

Casual Housekeeping: Some people are very casual housekeepers, and unless the housekeeping is getting in the way of her health of limiting her function, she may just be a in the casual crowd. Try to visit with her at your home or maybe out a local bar or restaurant so that her home doesn't impact your relationship.

OR: Or are you a neat freak? Before you make diagnoses, ask other people what they think. Is your friend depressed? Withdrawn? Changed behavior?

Legally: Legally there is little you can do unless you feel that her home presents a public health danger or that she is incompetent and is a danger to herself. Otherwise try contacting a close relative of hers. Failing that, call the social service department at your local hospital or the public health department for advice.

Try an intervention: You can do his yourself, with the health department, her family, her physician, etc

It's difficult: "Hoarders" rarely see a problem with it, it is usually family and friends that recognize the problem. Hoarding Disorder is complicated, and there are several scales that have been devised to attempt to "rate" the severity. I cannot go into the details here, but if you would like to see the various ICD/OCD/ and Paxton Hoarding scales, you can read about them here:https://www.sparefoot.com/self-storage/blog/12662-hoarding-scales/

She is a hoarder: And this is really a disease and the clutter is potentially a health and fire hazard. You will need to do your best to get her to mend her ways. Ask a close relative to assist you if possible.

I'm not sure it is: important to know is she is definitely a "hoarder" or not (though there may be a higher rate of actual mental illness in definite hoarders), but it sounds like she needs help. Figure out who the best person is to talk with her (often a grown child) and consider getting some professional coaching about how best to try to engage your friend in making some changes. It's a very challenging situation.

Hoarder/Housekeeper: It doesn't really matter what you call it; at the end of the day, there is a safety and health hazard from the accumulating items, debris, and filth. An intervention is warranted.

Talk lightly: Depending on the intimacy level and trust you have, you can just ask if she ever finds it a problem. If not - it might be best to just say that you'd wondered about it since it seemed to be increasing but leave it at that. It's only necessary to do something if it reaches a safety hazard level. Otherwise just offering your support is all you can do.