Im 59 and have 4 children that are grown.i cannot hold my bowel movement.can anything be done other than an operation to tightened things in my rectum

Physical therapy: One thing that may help is pelvic floor physical therapy. However, it is important to make sure there are not other reasons why you may have this problem such as a problem with your rectum itself or nerve damage.

Stool consistency: While there may be some sphincter muscle or nerve damage contributing to this problem, it can often be managed by correcting your stool consistency. The more well formed your stool, the easier it is to control. In most cases like yours, continence can be maintained through the use of a fiber supplement and an antidiarrheal. See a colorectal surgeon for specific advice.