What does it actually mean if i have schizophrenia?

Unusual connections: Schizophrenia is a disease of unusual connections in the brain. It means that your brain makes connections between things that others wouldn't ordinarily connect. It can also mean that you experience memories and internal voices as "real" and that you experience fears or other beliefs that are excessive or unrealistic. It means you should plan on working with a good psychiatrist.

It means you : Have a chronic illness like diabetes or high blood pressure, but this one effects your brain. Learn as much as you can about your illness and work with a psychiatrist that you trust so that you can control the illness rather than letting the illness control you.