I have never wanted to loose weight till now and i feel like i won't get there i'm so big ?

Adjust expectations: Happiness=reality-expectations. If you try a weight lose plan that is too intense @ the start, you'll feel bad when you don't meet those expectations. Start slow & work up. It'll be less taxing on mind and body. Eating right and exercise improvements in small gains build bigger results in the long run.

Slow and steady: You don't say how big you are but the key to losing weight is permanent sustainable changes in diet & increased exercise which results in slow steady weight loss. If you can lose 2 pounds a month that's 24 pounds a year and that will add up no matter how big you are. My favorite diet for health & weight loss is Dr. Fuhrman's Nutritarian Diet- see http://bit.ly/1dHW9hT Slow & steady wins this race.