Can you tell me how i could have better self esteem?

This is tough : since I dont know you or what you have going on medically or what stressors you face. Writing down a list of compliments and good things in your life/people is helpful. Try to draw out how you want your life to be and remember you can do anything. you need to try and get some help and education about what needs to be done and how to go about it. Dont give up, you are worth it.