I have avoidant personality disorder. feeling helpless help?

Vicious Cycle: Tho your 'disorder' is not one of the worst, it can be one of the most difficult to change. Since you tend to avoid things, you'll avoid therapy and recommendations. But, if really want to change, turn your stubbornness to advantage. You've possibly used this on kids. "fine, you can stay home and we'll see you when we get back because we have to go now or be late". Kids come a'runnin! best wishes!

Avoidant PD: Get yourself a full psychiatric evaluation to determine what is bothering you, and consider medication as part of treatment. Also, get a referral to a reputable psychotherapist who specializes in working with patients with conditions/diagnoses similar to yours, whatever they may be.