Feeling so scared of going to the dentist i feel suicidial...what can i do?

Talk to a counselor: Fears are primarily irrational concerns about things that may or may not happen. Understanding that will help you to seek a consultation with a therapist to help you understand and control the irrational thoughts. Worrying about it will not change any outcome. Dental disease can make you very ill or, at worst, cause death if untreated. Please see to it that you are treated.

Consultation: Get 2-3 consultation with dentists and first determine comfort level. Ask friends, also. You may want to look up and consider a dentist who does sedation dentistry.

Dental care is: A necessary form of medical care. I see that you have borderline personality disorder. I am wondering if you are referring to suicide as a way to emphasize your point. I don't see therapy listed under your profile. I would encourage you to be in a therapeutic relationship ; to have your dental fears addressed. I also see that you have an abscessed tooth. It is imperative that an abscess be treated.