What is wrong with me? why do i keep choosing guys who abuse me?

The key question: The vast majority of men are not abusers and will treat you decently. Talk with your physician and try out at least a few sessions of evidence-based psychotherapy. This is the only way you'll answer this question -- and the even more important one, "how do I reprogram myself so i stop making this mistake, and find a decent guy?" you've asked -- put in the hard work and your prognosis is good.