I'm not an addict but benzos never work to calm me even in high doses. nor is it paradoxical reactions. the same for everyone else i ask. why is that?

High tolerance: You ; your contacts must have high tolerance for benzodiazepines or other related drugs/substances like alcohol. People with high tolerance to alcohol often require very high doses of benzos also. Benzo and barbiturate sedatives ; alcohol can also induce tolerance -- requiring progressively higher doses over time. Still another possibility is that you're using counterfeit benzos.

High tolerance: You and your friends may all have high tolerance. Also, this class of medication tends to work best when combined with an antidepressant. If you're having difficulty getting your anxiety under control, then you have your the counter option of l-theanine or Gabapentin by prescription which i find to work quite well in people who do not respond to benzodiazepines. Buspirone and Hydroxyzine are other options.