Lump on right side of neck that gets bigger and smaller with pain/numbing on right side of tongue and pain up to right ear. ?

Probably nothing.: Lumps that get bigger and then smaller are usually enlarged lymph nodes responding to infection or inflammation. I wonder if you have some sort of infection going on near a tooth or near the back of your tongue. This could cause referred pain to your ear. If it doesn't get better on its own within a few days, would get it checked out.

Pain/swelling: You need to be examined to determine cause of pain/swelling. Once diagnosed, correct treatment can be administered. Please see your Dentist, an Oral Surgeon, your GP, or an ENT.