I can orgasm with masterbation of all forms but never w intercourse..im 40 so its not assumed to be an all man issue..help!?

Mind messing: The fact that everything 'works' suggests the problem is in your mind. Maybe your sex activity is at odds with your faith or upbringing; maybe you aren't fully committed to your partner; maybe you feel guilty... Psychotherapy is the approach for an issue like this, to put words on the feelings that get in your way. There is a conflict inside your mind; therapy can sometimes find it.

Anatomy: Approximately 40% of women can not reach orgasm with vaginal stimulation alone. These woman require clitoral stimulation and it may be that your anatomy does not allow adequate clitoral stimulation with intercourse. A considerate partner can provide both if you guide the partner in what you need.