On a dementia patient, how many times a week visit is fine? i've been asked to see her occasionally vs the 4x a week due to changes in her state.

Dementia Visit ?: This is an almost impossible question to answer. There are so many factors that go into it. A lot depends upon the stage of dementia that she is in. If it is very advanced then it is perhaps futile for you to visit her four times a week. I don't know the reason for the staff telling you to visit less often. Perhaps they noticed that you were getting stressed with caregiver burnout or perhaps she was acting worse after you left. I would recommend that you ask the staff what their rationale was, express your wishes and abilities, take care of yourself, and if necessary get into therapy so that you have someone to talk to about losing a spouse to such a devastating illness. This is a time when pastoral care could be very helpful. Best wishes to you and to your wife during such a difficult time.

More or less: Are they asking you to see the patient less? I don't see how frequent visits would at all harm a patient. Sometimes patients with dementia can get a little agitated with visitors, especially when they don't recall who they are or how they know them, and this can lead to safety issues, so they may be asking you to change your intervals for good reason. Talk to the staff helping in care and see what.