Need expert help. i am so insecure and i hate myself so much, do things ever get better?

Not until your: Attitude about yourself changes. It is sad that you despise yourself. But, believe it or not, you can learn to accept & love yourself. My guess is that at some point, you learned to be self- critical & to pick yourself apart. Suspect you are blind to all that is wonderful & unique about you. Encourage you to see a therapist to work on your self- esteem & to the world & yourself more realistically.