What to do when staff at nursing home does not give our loved one what is needed, we try to point that out and they gang up and give us cold shoulder?

Chain of command: You did well to talk directly to caretakers first. But since they gave you cold shoulder, call and set up appointment with the nursing supervisor. If care does not improve quickly, next go to home's director. If serious enough to constitute abuse, call your state's elderly abuse hotline - just google "elderly abuse hotline and your state". Finally, you need to drop in unannounced at different time.

Communicate: If you feel your loved one is not getting the care they need, bring this to the attention of the director of nursing. If you still are not satisfied, certainly involve the doctor involved in your relatives care. Every facility has an administrative director as well that runs the show.