Any good way to start living my own dreams and my own life?

2B brave act brave: Life is usually unfair and often brutal. If you are in a problem relationship, or somebody's demands are keeping you from doing what you want, discard that person. You have a duty to seek happiness, to take appropriate initiative, to learn marketable skills, to join groups of people who do things you think you might like, and to be your own person. Your doctor may have some ideas. Cheers.