If a man goes soft with vaginal intercourse, can that mean the woman is loose or the man is gay? with oral sex he is really hard. what's the problem?

May be normal: Sexual arousal is half mental and half physical. The situation of firm erections only during certain activities is not by itself a problem. A primary care doctor can see if there are risk factors for erection problems. If all is physically ok, then it is up to the man to find more stimulating ways to do the things he would like to do. Finally, it is not a good idea to describe a woman as "loose".

Interesting thought: The answer is no. You are not gay or the woman loose for not enjoying vaginal intercourse. Sexual arousal is a very different in each person. That is why people have fetishes. Oral sex may look, feel, sound, and be more important in your brain and that's all there is to it.

Performance anxiety: Some men can experience performance anxiety with intercourse and lose their erections. They may not have problems with sexual functioning with other sex acts. A trained health provider or sex therapist can discuss behavioral techniques to decrease the performance anxiety.