What do you think my dr will do? having anxiety, depression, irritability, trouble thinking, hearing voices & things, urges to & actual self-harm that can sometimes be controlled, thoughts of death with no intention of doing anything?

It sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist and get medication to treat these issues. Whether or not you need a psychiatric admission depends on the self-harm you are doing and/or have thoughts to do. But, a psychiatrist needs to evaluate your situation to determine the best treatment options. This should not be delayed as the symptoms may worsen. Good luck!