Every so often, i get severe pain when urine touches my right inner labia, near my vag opening. it goes away within 2 days every time, but the pain is bad enough for me to have to cover the spot when i pee. i looked and saw a single red dot. herpes?

Your concern about herpes makes sense. This symptom suggests you have an ulcer (open sore) at that spot, and herpes is the most common cause of genital ulcers, especially when they recur periodically. Probably you have more than a "red dot", but self visualization can be difficult. Try to arrange with your doctor to be seen within 24 hr next time; if ulceration is present, have a PCR test for HSV.