Why is epididymitis sometimes hard and as if it is swollen and hurts me while other times it is normal can it be epididymitis?

Confusing question. All infectious epididymitis causes obvious testicular enlargement and tenderness. Without these symptoms, almost certainly something other than epididymitis the cause of the pain. Also, infectious epididymitis almost always involves only one testicle. If both, probably it's not epididymitis.

sometimes an epidydimal cyst is mistaken for epididymitis. I suggest you wear a good support underwear and if the pain recurs change the position of your testicles and it will feel better. If the problem persists see a Urologist.