Is it ok to wash external painful hemorrhoids with soap and water?

I would suggest plain water Sitz baths or use a bidet or warm water from a shower head type of tube. Soap my irritate the area.

Plain warm water is best to clean area and to avoid irritation, warm bath tub soaks for 10-15 minutes after a BM or 2-3 times per day works best. If no improvement with above see a colorectal surgeon for in office incision and drainage under local anesthesia and plan on spending 12-24 hrs of bed rest afterward.