Once more perhaps? how do i ask for a dentist's dentist and specialist? present practitioners will not take the request kindly but i need to change.

Should be simple...: There is no place for ego in caring for a patient. Most of the time, ego will hurt both the patient and the practitioner. Just simply asking the dentist, "i am concerning about my situation and may seek a specialist opinion", should not hurt anybody feeling. A caring dentist would suggest for you a list of specialist he respects and refers to. Afterall, we want simply the best for you.

Ask other doctors: If you ask a dentist who is his\her dentist and don't get a courteous answer, i wouldn't trust that dentist's opinion anyway. The same goes for asking a dentist who you don't want to use. The best way to find another dentist (general or specialist) is to ask other health care professionals that you use and both trust and have confidence in.