Ive been told not to gender select my first pregnancy bc of mother nature. is it ethically wrong to gender select via ivf? i mean, is it inhumane?

Gender selection: Gender selection is a very personal matter. There is no "inhumanity" issue, and it is only a personal ethical issue with potential parents. So far there is no law which prohibits this kind of selection process.

Generally, avoid it: It's not nice to mess with Mother Nature. Always decide if there is truly an overwhelmingly convincing reason to interfere with nature, before trying to do it. If there is no known genetic defect in the family genes that would create a mutation in either boys or girls, then we let nature decide whether the next baby will be a boy or girl. If no mutations, both boy and girl babies are fine.