Can melanoma in the lymph nodes be treated without, to me, the extreme action of the complete removal of nodes in the area?

2nd opinion: You are right that there are some forms of melanoma which do not require complete lymph node resection, however the science and evidence around this is complex and requires careful consideration to make individual recommendations. If you feel unsure or unhappy about the advice you have been given then you should feel confident to question it + even seek a 2nd option. Most Dr's are ok with this.

Melanoma: If it is in the Lymph nodes , that means that it is spreading. Removal of lymph nodes is done to see extent of melanoma . There is no guarantee that That it will lead to a definitive treatment. So please stick to your specialist advice and give it your best shot .