Abscess on top part of ear, 4 days. painful, throbbing. poked it with tiny lancet& squeezed but only blood came out, no puss. should i poke deeper?

See a doctor: For these kinds of problems, it's gone beyond the 'home remedy' stage. The issue with the ear is that you don't want a longer term deformity to develop by poking around and digging at this infection. A doctor should better be able to manage this for you. I would call your primary or go to an Urgent Care center where someone could deal with it properly.