My almost 5 year old won't look me in the eye. we often can't understand her. she's big on order and overreacts to everything. should i be concerned?

Maybe: These characteristics may be signs of several possibilities. A 5 year old's speech should be easily understood by her parents.The behaviors could have a psychological foundation.Need to see your pediatrician!

Time for a visit: The features you list are alarming.Speech should be 95% understood by strangers at 4yr. The "order" issue sounds a bit too obsessive. Lack of good eye contact with her primary care givers sets off alarms. I would arrange to have her screened by a pediatrician, developmental-behavioral pediatrician or child psychiatrist within the next few weeks to identify her best way to improve.