I have bad anxiety and my family don't understand. they believe it is all just the way i act to things. is it all in my head or is it a real problem?

Anxiety: Yes. Anxiety is real and has a real biological component. But there are things you can do. Here are some resources. http://blog.southeastpsych.com/?s=anxiety.

Evaluation.: It is difficult to feel misunderstood by those you love. To determine if your anxiety meets criteria for a clinical anxiety disorder vice the normal jitters that people get from time to time, recommend evaluation. A comprehensive psychological evaluation by a doctoral level clinical psychologist or a psychiatrist would put this into perspective & start the road to feeling better. Take care.